Random Thoughts


adult affection baby backlit
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I was raised back in the 70’s and 80’s. It was a great time, no internet, no cell phones. My parents taught me about consequences at a very early age. Consequences are basically when you make a choice to do something, you accept responsibility for that choice. Some of the consequences I had as a child was pretty simple. For instance, if it was my night to wash dishes after dinner and I forgot, my dad would wake up as he was going to bed and tell me to get up and do them. I was pretty hard headed, so this happened a lot. Other consequences were about character, or maintenance or whatever. If you think about it, every thing you do in life has a consequence.

One of the biggest consequences I learned about was sex. I was taught early on, that if I had sex, there was always a chance that I could get pregnant. I was told that having sex meant that I was a woman, and if I got pregnant then I would be expected to be woman enough to accept that and be the best mom I could be.

I remember many close calls, and as a teenager that is what I thought it was. I eventually got pregnant during a separation from my first abusive ex husband. Here I was all alone, single, and barely 20 years old. Was it convenient? No. Was I too young to become a mother? Absolutely. Did I stand up and take responsibility? Yes I did! Was I the best mom I could be? Probably not, at that age I certainly make a lot of mistakes! Thank God children are forgiving and flexible! I considered my first son to be my salvation in many ways. He grounded me, he gave me an unconditional love that I had never known before! He totally depended on me, and at the end of the day, I was proud of the accomplishment!

He is a man now. He is very independent, happy and such a joy! He is the peace keeper in our family. I am so proud of him. I remember his biological dad contacting me when he was about two, and telling me that since it was the 90’s I should have just aborted him. What a sad world it would be without him in it! I have never regretted having him.  Why would I have ever thought to punish a child for my decision to have sex?  I wouldn’t have, and I don’t think anyone should.  

I am saddened by women taking up the mantle to abort children claiming that it’s their body and their right. A woman’s right is to use birth control! If you aren’t ready to have a baby then don’t have sex. Their are ways to prevent it, and they are offered everywhere! Just because we have a uterus doesn’t make us God! We are no better than any other sex. Get off that high horse. Grow up, and use the birth control that’s available. If you happen to be blessed with a pregnancy, trust me when I say You got this! Grow that little one from scratch in your body. Feel that first little kick in your belly. Take it all in and enjoy it. That is where a real woman shines in my opinion! If you truly don’t think you can give your best your best, then put it up for adoption. There are lots of people that want a baby and can’t have one on their own.

I hope I don’t get a lot of back lash for speaking how I feel. Trust me when I say I don’t just anyone for doing what they feel they have to do. But stop looking at abortion as the first option you have. We are after women! We are strong enough to do this. We got this!

Random Thoughts

Sea Turtle Life Cycle

A sea turtle life cycle begins as soon as the female lays her eggs in the sand on the coast. For about 6 to 8 weeks, the eggs develop into a baby sea turtle. The babies then make their way into the ocean where they can spend a decade in the ocean, this is often referred as the lost years because their movements are often hard to track. After the lost years, the mature sea turtles then return to the coasts to forage and continue to mature. They are about the size of a dinner plate at this point.

It is estimated that sea turtles can live for a century! They endure all kinds of challenges, predators and such are constantly causing deaths for some, but fortunatly for others the circle of life continues. They mate, and lay eggs on the coasts and once again a new life cycle begins.

Sea turtles are given legal protection in the US, because they are on the endangered list. This means that without protection the sea turtle would easily become extinct. In the US, it is illegal to harm, harass or kill any sea turtle, hatchlings, or their eggs. Sea turtles and their eggs are also protected in Panama and Cost Rica.

Random Thoughts

Day 1, 2019

I hope everyone of you had a great New Year Celebration! My husband and I binged episodes of You on Netflix and caught up on laundry and then finished off with a wonderful dinner of collards, potatoes, and grilled chicken! I found out yesterday that my cholesterol was great, although my triglycerides are too high, but I am thankful!

2018 was not that bad of a year. I lost some pretty important people in my life, but I am not going to dwell on that because I gained so much more! My daughter moved back home with my two grands. I have lost weight. I enjoyed all my children being home for Thanksgiving! I have learned to be thankful for what I do have and not dwell on what I don’t have. I did have a bad moment in which I was so depressed that I contemplated going to a hospital, but I got through it. I’m not ashamed of having these feelings anymore, and was able to confide in people that I had them. This is a huge step for me!

I have recognized that bad feelings are part of me just like the good feelings. I will stand up for myself when I need to, even people hate when you do that. I am worth being treated well, and I have great things to offer people.

Some goals for me during 2019 are to lose 10 more pounds, quit smoking, and just be a happier me. What are yours?

Random Thoughts

The Monster in my head

I have struggled with depression most of my adult life.  The first major episode was after I had my son, I was 20 years old.  I didn’t realize what exactly was going on.  I had no energy at all.  I didn’t want to get dressed, or bathe, or eat, or even go anywhere.  I remember using all my energy I had to take care of my son.  I went to the dr and got a diagnosis and began medication.  

I am thankful that I have times where I don’t feel depressed.  I never feel that I am 100 percent normal though.  I feel like my brain is broken.  I am over sensitive to how people feel.  I am exhausted because I worry about everything.  Constantly trying to please everyone has really taken a tole.  

I am 50 years old now, and I am just tired.  Tired of pushing people away.  Tired of being so exhausted I don’t want to get up.  Tired of people saying they are friends, but they aren’t.  Tired of living in a world where I feel useless and unimportant.  What exactly is the purpose of it all?  

Am I surrounding by sucky people, or is my perception of life wrong?  Are my thought clouded by depression?  Will the sun ever shine again for me?  

I am on my medication, but I am researching shock therapy.  I know it sounds horendous!  In fact, I have always had nightmares at the thought, but from what I have read, it is a very safe option to long term depression.  

I may not have the heart to follow through with it, but at least I can think about it right?  It gives that monster in my head something to dwell on besides life.  

Random Thoughts

Free stuff for all!

Free college!  Free healthcare!   FREE!   This all sounds great, and I think everyone would love this concept, but anyone that has ever worked with money can see the disaster of this concept.

Nothing is ever free.   There has to be money set aside somewhere to pay for these things.   I love eating out, but my budget doesn’t reflect eating out all the time.  Truth is, I have to look at income and outcome and very carefully assign money to certain things.  Rent, loan payments, gas, electricity, and other things are necessary and must be allocated first.  Then food budget, entertainment, and so forth.  These are areas where I need to really budget my money or I will go crazy spending and then not be able to pay my other bills.

The government budget is examined closely.  There are many people who examine it and try to balance it according to needs.

Free health care is already in place, even a sliding scale income based insurance is in place for those who need it.  Free college is in place for people who need it also.  GPA requirements and income requirements have to be me, but it’s available.  To offer it to everyone in the US would be disastrous!  Money would have to come from somewhere else to pay for it.

I think we should just work on the programs already in place, and try to fix some of the issues with these programs.  Some issues are people taking advantage of the system.  Staying single to qualify for more government programs.  Having children to qualify for more programs.  The list goes on and on.

Random Thoughts

Midterm elections are over

I am a voter!   I have been voting ever since I was able to vote, and I always take pride in learning as much as I can about the candidates before I vote.  I am sad to say that my country has really disappointed me.  Voting is a precious right we all have, and you have a winner and loser.  That’s just how it is.  It is great knowing that we as Americans can cast our vote and then let the results fall where they may.

Current times have just divided everyone.  All of a sudden we are defined by our political stance, or our skin color, or even our gender.   People need to grow up!   I will never vote for a woman just because she is a woman.  I will never vote for a person just because of their skin color.  I will never vote for someone just because they are labeled democrat or republican.   I look at what each candidate stands for.  I have never voted for someone because they stood for everything I believed in 100 percent, but I look at the good and the bad.  I make an educated decision to the best of my ability and I cast my vote!  It’s my American right to do that.

I am sick of the name calling, harassing in public and pretty much shaming people on how the feel politically.  It really makes us all look bad!  This country has just gone down hill!  Bullying should not be allowed in our country any more!

United we stand, divided we fall.

Feelings, Random Thoughts

How to be a strong woman

How can you be a strong woman today?  Strength comes from being kind when you really want to be ugly.  Strength comes from recognizing that we are all different.  Differences make us all special, embrace that and encourage each other to be themselves.  Strength comes from encouraging others.  Strength comes from honoring other’s opinions.  Never belittling someone for having different opinions.

Women have  shocked me these days.  I have heard women belittle others for not breastfeeding or having natural child births.  I have actually been called a gender traitor because I am a Republican.  I have been called ignorant because I have a beautiful southern accent.  Let’s not be these kinds of women.  Let’s be better than that.  My mamma always said, “if you can’t say something nice, then don’t say anything at all”.

We should be respectful of all people, especially woman.  Woman have it hard.  So many expect us to be perfect, yet in our busy lives of raising children, we simply have to do the best we can.  Life is hard, for everyone.  Why does it matter what we wear, what size we are, what we eat, or what we believe?  I am glad we aren’t all the same.  There are lots of ways to do things.  That is what makes this world exciting.

If you are reading this, strive this week to be more understanding of everyone.  If someone is spouting negativity, just smile.  If someone is hurtful, then pray for that person.  Find the good in everyone,  be strong.  Set the example.  Put everything else aside, and just be you!  We never know what people are going through, so just be patient.  We all need a little kindness!   Be the one that gives it out freely!  Be strong!  Be a strong woman!