Feelings, Random Thoughts

2020, changes and stress

 

2020 is bringing some changes to my life.  This year I will have a new grandbaby!   She is due any day now and I am so excited to meet her!  We also are in a new location, left Charleston a few weeks ago and are now in Atlanta!  It has rained almost continuously since we arrived, I think we had one good day of sunshine!  My diet has changed from eating everything in sight, except salt, to being vegan.  We made the change after watching Game Changers on Netflix.  I am praying that by the end of 2020 that my cholesterol will be greatly improved.  Another change, we are now land owners in Tennessee.  Eventually, we will build our home there and one day retire to the great town of Sevierville.

Changes are not easy.  I stress so much about things I cannot change, I am working hard on putting myself first.  Learning to recognize when I am stressed and taking care of that need before anything else.

There are key signs to recognize my stress.   I stop sleeping soundly, and often wake up exhausted.  My mind has wondered all night and due to that, I am tired.  Once this happens I try to pinpoint what has happened.  What am I thinking?  What am I really worried about?  Once I figure out that, I take the steps to eliminate that stress from my life if it is within my control!

Another stress, I am isolated from people I know and love because I travel with my husband.  He is working all day and I find myself sitting in the RV with my wonderful dogs, Sophie and Molly.  I take care of our daily chores like cleaning and laundry, but sometimes I just need company.  Thankfully, our drive home is only 3 hours and we are able to go home more often.  Still, however I feel lonely, even at home.  I have cookouts and parties, but in the back of my mind I wonder if I would even see these people if I hadn’t planned a cookout.  I know it’s all in my head, but I always have these thoughts.  To deal with this, I am looking for something to occupy my mind.  Some thoughts on this are to find a hobby or get a job.  My mind is busy, and maybe if I can distract myself I can overcome feeling unneeded or invisible.

What did 2020 bring to your life?  Please comment and let me know.  We are all broken and have bandages all over, I am curious to how you put your life back together.

Cheers to 2020, take time for yourself!  Remember, if your cup is empty, you can’t pour anything for others.

Random Thoughts

Death doesn’t have to be scary

I have always been uncomfortable with death. I hate funerals and have avoided all of them that I didn’t have to attend. This past week, my sister suddenly became ill and it slowly became apparent that she wasn’t going home.

I went to be with her and we had some great talks. I witnessed her talking to people who had already passed. She would laugh and see things that I couldn’t see. My sister joy and I made sure she stayed clean and her lips stayed moist.

We watched her body progress from staying alive to dying. A nurse at the hospital kindly explained what was going on and we all made the decision to move her to hospice.

I told her how important she was to me. I played Pink Floyd for her. It was a special time to reassure her that she was loved. Becky had mental illness most of her but her last days were perfectly normal. She died peacefully, so peacefully in fact that we didn’t even realize she took her last breath. Joy and I were by her side and soon realized she didn’t take the next one.

I’m grateful for the last week I had with her. I’m grateful for the nurse that was experienced enough to tell us what was happening. I’m grateful for the loved ones that came by to tell her goodbye. I’m grateful for the hospice ladies that helped us understand the physical process of dying.

In the end it was sad and emotional but never scary. I regret fearing this process, but I’m grateful that I have a clearer understanding now. Thank you Becky! I wish you were here! I will always miss you!

Main Dishes, Random Thoughts, Recipes

Filet Mignon on the stove

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Last night I prepared these steaks for dinner, and they were the best!   I am no good at grilling unless you like everything burnt, so when I found this recipe I was super excited!

2 Filets (4 oz each)

1/4 cup balsamic vinegar

1/4 cup red wine

  1. Sprinkle freshly ground pepper over both sides of each steak, and sprinkle with salt to taste.
  2. Heat a nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Place steaks in hot pan, and cook for 1 minute on each side, or until browned. Reduce heat to medium-low, and add balsamic vinegar and red wine. Cover, and cook for 4 minutes on each side, basting with sauce when you turn the meat over.
  3. Remove steaks to two warmed plates, spoon one tablespoon of glaze over each, and serve immediately.

 

Random Thoughts

Do you remember what happened on 9/11

For me, I remember it like it was yesterday. My family was in Gatlinburg Tennessee just waking up. We had done a lot of hiking the day before and I was incredibly sore. I was lying in bed trying to force my muscles out of bed. Lol. Out of shape for sure.

I heard on the tv that a plane had hit the World Trade Center in New York. I could hear the tv reporters talking about it. Our hotel had two bedrooms and a living room area so the tv was playing in the living room. When the second plane hit; it was a realization of horror. This was deliberate. I got right up then and in fear watched the news.

Thoughts ran through my mind. Are we under attack? Who would do this? How are these people going to get out? It was total heart break, and as more and more unfolded it just got worse.

HBO has a great short documentary on 9/11. It is important for our younger people to understand what took place that day. I recommend everyone watch it because it has personal interviews with family members of those killed and people who were present .

These people were killed because they were Americans. That’s all. My hope is that no one forgets! If you get a chance, visit the 9/11 memorial in New York. It is very humbling. Over 3 thousand people were killed that day.

I think we got up and went on another hike. It was scary because of the unknown. We kept close to televisions and radios so we could stay informed. That night we went downtown Gatlinburg and the American flags flying everywhere was so overwhelming! Every business, every pot, every door was adorned with our flag. It’s the only time in my 51 years that I have witnessed every person united in my country.

Motivation, Random Thoughts

Remembering 9/11

In honor of 9/11, I would love to post something that will inspire everyone to come together.  Regardless of your race, religion, or political differences; stand together with fellow Americans to remember this sad and tragic day.

That day was a turning point for us as Americans.  It was terrible, yet it was also beautiful at the same time.  America was more united on that day than I have ever seen it.

I remember the American Flags everywhere.  We were proud to display that we stood together and were united as one.  Today, not so much.

I challenge each one reading to remember this day and to honor the lives of those lost, be American again.  Honor this day by flying your flags, or wearing red white and blue.  Stop the divisions!  Don’t let anyone try to divide us!  Stand as one, and America will be strong again.

We are not white, black, republican or democrat;  We are Americans!!

Random Thoughts

8/27 What I’ve been watching this week

  • Better than Us-A family on the brink of splitting up become the owners of a cutting-edge robot being sought by a corporation, homicide investigators and terrorists.  This is a series that we enjoyed watching on Netflix.  There are lots of twists and it kept our attention the whole time.  I recommend this one, although it is in English, the lips do not match the words.   If this doesn’t bother you then watch it!

  • Mindhunters-A new season was released so I watched it.  This is a great series about the FBI learning all they can about serial killers.  What I love is that it’s based on actual serial killers and even the FBI’s are based on actual people.

“Catching a criminal often requires the authorities to get inside the villain’s mind to figure out how he thinks. That’s the job of FBI agents Holden Ford and Bill Tench. They attempt to understand and catch serial killers by studying their damaged psyches. Along the way, the agents pioneer the development of modern serial-killer profiling. The crime drama has a strong pedigree behind the camera, with Oscar-nominated director David Fincher and Oscar-winning actress Charlize Theron among the show’s executive producers.”
  • 13 Reasons Why- Newcomer Katherine Langford plays the role of Hannah, a young woman who takes her own life. Two weeks after her tragic death, a classmate named Clay finds a mysterious box on his porch. Inside the box are recordings made by Hannah — on whom Clay had a crush — in which she explains the 13 reasons why she chose to commit suicide. If Clay decides to listen to the recordings, he will find out if and how he made the list. This intricate and heart-wrenching tale is told through Clay and Hannah’s dual narratives.  

    There are 3 Seasons out now, this show deals with very serious issues that our teens actually face.  The first two seasons clearly show how a system fails a young girl who was raped and couldn’t find the help she sought.

    Please read my post about 13 Reasons Why and how season 3 is very dangerous and what you should do when you watch it.  13 Reasons Why

  • The 100- New season out on Netflix.  The end of Earth as we know it, survivors are forced to find a new planet to live on.  It is pretty good,  a little far fetched at times, but enjoyable.

Random Thoughts

13 Reasons Why

Although I have watched this all the way to Season 3, I have to say that the third season is pretty dangerous!   With all the school shootings we’ve had, and other mass shootings, I do not think it is wise for a show to plant a seed that not calling/reporting suspicious behavior is an option.

One of the characters, Tyler, is mentally ill.  He has accumulated a lot of weapons and even to a school dance with the sole purpose of killing everyone.  Instead of reporting this to the law enforcement, his friends talk him down and spend the whole season watching him so he doesn’t do something like this again.

This is wrong on so many levels!   When some mentally unstable keeps weapons and makes threats, it is everyone’s responsibility to tell someone!!!   This is a huge message that is just as important as seeking help for suicide prevention!

13 Reasons Why, you really missed the mark on this one.   Parents if you are watching this with your mature children, please stress that reporting issues are the only answer!