Random Thoughts

What I’ve been watching this week

During the first week of August I have found some great things to watch on TV.   I have the Roku and I subscribe to Hulu, HBO Go, Netflix and Amazon Prime.   I believe that no matter your movie style, one of these will be your new show to fall in love with!

The Good Witch

I just found this on Netflix one day and I am in love!   This is actually a Hallmark series that is currently running on the Hallmark channel, but it is also on Netflix.  I normally love horror and drama but this has been a great break from stressful shows.  There is no cussing, no sex, and no killing!   My husband and I have enjoyed watching this when we get in the bed.  It’s a great show!

The Handmaid Tale

Hulu has been running this show, and the most recent season is currently playing.  That means that you have to watch it as it shows on Wednesday night.  If you haven’t watched any seasons yet, I suggest you catch up.  This is a very serious drama filled series about a futuristic type America that is created to save the population.  Apparently the women have become so infertile, that the government creates a utopia type society where they use handmaids to propagate.  It’s crazy!  I love it, and I know you will too!

Sinner

This is another type of series, it’s on Netflix.  Each season is a stand alone that you can watch, without having to watch the previous season.  It features a detective who tries to figure out the motive behind a murder or murders that wouldn’t have been solved if he hadn’t dug in a little deeper.  It’s a serious show, with lots of drama that usually features how our past can come forward in ways that even we don’t understand.

Otherhood

A movie on Netflix!  Oh my goodness, I can’t even begin to describe how wonderful it is.  It about 3 mothers who are neglected on Mother’s day by their sons, who happen to be best friends.  To me, it brings up seasons in our lives, this one to me is the empty nest season.  You will laugh and cry during this movie!   I loved it!

Stranger Things

Season 3 is out now on Netflix!  I have to admit that although I loved this show, it wasn’t until I watched season 3 that I really fell in love with Stranger Things!  The Dustin and Zoe song really made my day!  I want to jump up and dance everytime I hear it!  If you have no clue what I am rambling out, the get your remote and watch it!  You will be glad you did!

 

Conclusion

These are all great shows to watch, and they all are different genres!   Regardless of your taste in TV or movies, one of these is sure to hold your attention!   Grab some popcorn and let me know what you think!  The best thing is that you never have to leave your house or get dressed!!!

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Random Thoughts

Toxic People

Toxic people to me are the following

  1.  People who are self centered
  2. People who can’t apologize for anything
  3. People who always think they are right
  4. People who get defensive when you try to be honest with them
  5. People who analyse everything and turns everything on others
  6. People who lie
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Random Thoughts

Don’t take it personal

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These are the famous last words of my sister.  After my father died, she decided she didn’t want to attend any family gatherings at all.  I get it, death can hit people differently.  It was too painful for her.  I asked her if I had done anything to make her feel uncomfortable and she say’s “Don’t take it personal.  This is about me.”

Ok, so I gave her space.  I told her when she was ready to come around to let me know.  This week, I noticed her facebook was gone.  After asking around, I find out I am the only one that can’t see it.    HMMMM .    Apparently I should have taken it personally.

I just wish people would give me the considerations of telling me what I did to deserve the abrupt ending of a relationship.  Is it too much to ask for someone to just be honest?  Apparently I live in a world of rainbows and unicorns, when people cut you off they never seem to want to be honest about why.

I will be sitting over here thinking of every little conversation that we’ve ever had.  Analyzing every interaction I’ve had with you.  Even contemplating why I deserved this sudden cutting off from you.  It sure would have been nice to know for sure.

Random Thoughts

Choices

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I was raised back in the 70’s and 80’s. It was a great time, no internet, no cell phones. My parents taught me about consequences at a very early age. Consequences are basically when you make a choice to do something, you accept responsibility for that choice. Some of the consequences I had as a child was pretty simple. For instance, if it was my night to wash dishes after dinner and I forgot, my dad would wake up as he was going to bed and tell me to get up and do them. I was pretty hard headed, so this happened a lot. Other consequences were about character, or maintenance or whatever. If you think about it, every thing you do in life has a consequence.

One of the biggest consequences I learned about was sex. I was taught early on, that if I had sex, there was always a chance that I could get pregnant. I was told that having sex meant that I was a woman, and if I got pregnant then I would be expected to be woman enough to accept that and be the best mom I could be.

I remember many close calls, and as a teenager that is what I thought it was. I eventually got pregnant during a separation from my first abusive ex husband. Here I was all alone, single, and barely 20 years old. Was it convenient? No. Was I too young to become a mother? Absolutely. Did I stand up and take responsibility? Yes I did! Was I the best mom I could be? Probably not, at that age I certainly make a lot of mistakes! Thank God children are forgiving and flexible! I considered my first son to be my salvation in many ways. He grounded me, he gave me an unconditional love that I had never known before! He totally depended on me, and at the end of the day, I was proud of the accomplishment!

He is a man now. He is very independent, happy and such a joy! He is the peace keeper in our family. I am so proud of him. I remember his biological dad contacting me when he was about two, and telling me that since it was the 90’s I should have just aborted him. What a sad world it would be without him in it! I have never regretted having him.  Why would I have ever thought to punish a child for my decision to have sex?  I wouldn’t have, and I don’t think anyone should.  

I am saddened by women taking up the mantle to abort children claiming that it’s their body and their right. A woman’s right is to use birth control! If you aren’t ready to have a baby then don’t have sex. Their are ways to prevent it, and they are offered everywhere! Just because we have a uterus doesn’t make us God! We are no better than any other sex. Get off that high horse. Grow up, and use the birth control that’s available. If you happen to be blessed with a pregnancy, trust me when I say You got this! Grow that little one from scratch in your body. Feel that first little kick in your belly. Take it all in and enjoy it. That is where a real woman shines in my opinion! If you truly don’t think you can give your best your best, then put it up for adoption. There are lots of people that want a baby and can’t have one on their own.

I hope I don’t get a lot of back lash for speaking how I feel. Trust me when I say I don’t just anyone for doing what they feel they have to do. But stop looking at abortion as the first option you have. We are after women! We are strong enough to do this. We got this!

Random Thoughts

Sea Turtle Life Cycle

A sea turtle life cycle begins as soon as the female lays her eggs in the sand on the coast. For about 6 to 8 weeks, the eggs develop into a baby sea turtle. The babies then make their way into the ocean where they can spend a decade in the ocean, this is often referred as the lost years because their movements are often hard to track. After the lost years, the mature sea turtles then return to the coasts to forage and continue to mature. They are about the size of a dinner plate at this point.

It is estimated that sea turtles can live for a century! They endure all kinds of challenges, predators and such are constantly causing deaths for some, but fortunatly for others the circle of life continues. They mate, and lay eggs on the coasts and once again a new life cycle begins.

Sea turtles are given legal protection in the US, because they are on the endangered list. This means that without protection the sea turtle would easily become extinct. In the US, it is illegal to harm, harass or kill any sea turtle, hatchlings, or their eggs. Sea turtles and their eggs are also protected in Panama and Cost Rica.

Random Thoughts

Day 1, 2019

I hope everyone of you had a great New Year Celebration! My husband and I binged episodes of You on Netflix and caught up on laundry and then finished off with a wonderful dinner of collards, potatoes, and grilled chicken! I found out yesterday that my cholesterol was great, although my triglycerides are too high, but I am thankful!

2018 was not that bad of a year. I lost some pretty important people in my life, but I am not going to dwell on that because I gained so much more! My daughter moved back home with my two grands. I have lost weight. I enjoyed all my children being home for Thanksgiving! I have learned to be thankful for what I do have and not dwell on what I don’t have. I did have a bad moment in which I was so depressed that I contemplated going to a hospital, but I got through it. I’m not ashamed of having these feelings anymore, and was able to confide in people that I had them. This is a huge step for me!

I have recognized that bad feelings are part of me just like the good feelings. I will stand up for myself when I need to, even people hate when you do that. I am worth being treated well, and I have great things to offer people.

Some goals for me during 2019 are to lose 10 more pounds, quit smoking, and just be a happier me. What are yours?

Random Thoughts

The Monster in my head

I have struggled with depression most of my adult life.  The first major episode was after I had my son, I was 20 years old.  I didn’t realize what exactly was going on.  I had no energy at all.  I didn’t want to get dressed, or bathe, or eat, or even go anywhere.  I remember using all my energy I had to take care of my son.  I went to the dr and got a diagnosis and began medication.  

I am thankful that I have times where I don’t feel depressed.  I never feel that I am 100 percent normal though.  I feel like my brain is broken.  I am over sensitive to how people feel.  I am exhausted because I worry about everything.  Constantly trying to please everyone has really taken a tole.  

I am 50 years old now, and I am just tired.  Tired of pushing people away.  Tired of being so exhausted I don’t want to get up.  Tired of people saying they are friends, but they aren’t.  Tired of living in a world where I feel useless and unimportant.  What exactly is the purpose of it all?  

Am I surrounding by sucky people, or is my perception of life wrong?  Are my thought clouded by depression?  Will the sun ever shine again for me?  

I am on my medication, but I am researching shock therapy.  I know it sounds horendous!  In fact, I have always had nightmares at the thought, but from what I have read, it is a very safe option to long term depression.  

I may not have the heart to follow through with it, but at least I can think about it right?  It gives that monster in my head something to dwell on besides life.